The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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