Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
