I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
