The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
