Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
