i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
