Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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