Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
