i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
