it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize