At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
