I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
