trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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