Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
