he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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