Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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