There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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