i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
