'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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