didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
