we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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