i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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