we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
