The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
