now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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