Nicole vs. Life
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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