Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
