Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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