This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
