the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize