If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
