i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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