Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize