Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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