My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
