Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
