you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
