last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
