dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
