A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
