Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize