I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
