Dual....:-)
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
