apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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