Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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