Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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