My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
