FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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