He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
