Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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