It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
