You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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