The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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