Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
