I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize