Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
