She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
