I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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