Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
