I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
