come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
