So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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