Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Text me some of your sweat
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
