I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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